Knowing Self Confidence
Self-confidence is one of the most essential qualities of living for personal success, fulfilment, and resilience. It shapes our fate - how we perceive ourselves, how we interact with others, and how we approach the challenges of life. Many a time, self-confidence is misunderstood, and we do not have knowledge of it. Self-confidence is something we either have or don’t; it is a skill that can be cultivated and strengthened over time to achieve life success.
Self-confidence is often the
missing link between dreams and achievements in life, particularly in the present
time when the world is filled with external pressures and constant comparisons.
When you're aiming for personal growth, professional success, or a more
fulfilling life, building self-confidence is key
Self-confidence is more than just a feeling—it’s the foundation for taking action, pursuing dreams, and living a life of purpose. Many people struggle with self-doubt, negative self-talk, and fear of failure, and are holding themselves back, not realizing their full potential.
This write-up is designed to
help everyone, not only to understand the psychological and emotional
components of confidence, but also to provide everyone with a practical step to
develop it in their everyday life. For every aspect, from overcoming self-doubt
and fear of failure to building a resilient mindset, this will guide you on the
path of life to becoming the most confident individual.
Whether you have low
self-esteem or are struggling to boost your confidence in specific areas of
your life, Knowing Self Confidence offers you insights, strategies, and
encouragement to help you unlock your full potential and get SELF CONFIDENCE. Whether
you have low self-esteem or are struggling to boost your confidence in specific
areas of your life, this article offers you insights, strategies, and
encouragement to help you unlock your full potential and get SELF CONFIDANCE.
This will definitely develop full and great self-confidence in you.
You require to have 1. better understanding of what true
self-confidence means and how it differs from arrogance or bravado. 2. Discover
proven techniques for building confidence in all areas of life, from career to
relationships. 3. Learn how to silence your inner critic and replace self-doubt
with empowering beliefs. 4. Acquire tools to navigate setbacks and failures
with resilience. 5. Find your authentic voice and develop the courage to
express it.
What Is Confidence?
Confidence means having a positive self-image and a healthy sense of
self-worth. In practice, this can mean feeling at ease in social situations,
being unafraid of public
speaking, or having positive thoughts
about one’s life and personality. To be confident means to thoroughly know and
embrace who you are and to be comfortable with your strengths and weaknesses
alike.
Self-confidence can lead to a greater sense of overall mental health and
wellness, as well as more success in many different avenues of life. Confident people often find greater success as entrepreneurs, or as their abiding sense of self-worth helps them achieve their
goals. On an interpersonal level, when you learn to
love and accept yourself, it can be easier for other people to do the same.
Becoming more confident is a process, so it’s important to have grace
for yourself as you learn to have more faith in yourself. Follow these tips to
gain confidence:
1.
Be kind to yourself.
2.
Get outside your comfort zone.
3.
Make a list of positive qualities.
4.
Practice self-assured body language.
5.
Having confidence can make you
feel great.
6.
Set goals for yourself.
7. Talk
to yourself positively.
No one
feels confident 100% of the time. but you can learn how to exude confidence
when you need to. it’s something you create. It’s a sense
of certainty. It’s the
feeling that you can accomplish anything that comes your way. Learning how to
show confidence while you work on actually becoming
more confident is a
winning strategy that will help you achieve your goals more quickly.
1. Shift your focus - “Where focus goes, energy flows.”
2.
. Recognise
and stop limiting beliefs about your perceived weaknesses and replace them with
empowering beliefs about your strengths and accomplishments
3.
Use visualisation to picture an upcoming challenge in your
mind and imagine crushing it.
4.
Priming
happens every day. Whether you know it or not, your thoughts and emotions are
constantly primed by outside factors.
5.
Your body
language is the very first thing someone notices about you. You can learn how
to exude confidence through body language.
6.
When you’re
interacting with someone, “mirror” them: match their body language with your
own, adjust the tone
of your voice to be
closer to theirs, and even choose words that are similar to their vocabulary.
7.
Avoid poor
posture. Standing slumped over or with your shoulders caved in is no way to
exude confidence. Stand up straight, hold your head up high, and push your
shoulders back.
8.
Nervous
energy often leads to fidgeting to relieve discomfort or anxiety. it also makes
you look unprofessional and uncomfortable.
9.
Check your hands - The way you
hold your hands is a big part of how to show confidence. Wringing your hands,
folding your arms, or sticking your hands in your pockets gives off nervous or
uncomfortable energy to everyone around you.
10.
Work on eye contact - Direct eye contact lets people know you’re focusing
your attention on them and is a technique with high returns when working on how
to show confidence.
11.
Improve your handshake - you’ll exude confidence and distract yourself firm
any nerves if you’re able to work on how to appear confident instead. When
meeting someone – especially in a professional setting – your first contact is
often the handshake.
12.
Be mindful of your facial expressions and voice
13.
The physicality of confidence - Think of how people like newscasters or politicians
move through the world; they need to know how to show confidence every single
day so they appear knowledgeable and trustworthy. You can exude confidence even
if you’re feeling anything but comfortable in the situation.
Confidence
appears to be an area where the rich get richer and the poor stay the fucking
losers they are. After all, if you’ve never experienced much social acceptance,
and you lack confidence around new people, then that lack of confidence will
make people think you’re clingy and weird and not accept you.
If we pay close attention, we can learn a few
things about confidence just by observing people. So, before you run
off and order that pizza, let’s break this down:
Just because
somebody has something (tons of friends, a million dollars, a
bitchin’ beach body) doesn’t necessarily mean that this person is confident in
it. There are business tycoons who totally lack confidence in their own wealth.
Confidence is a feeling.
An emotional state and a state of mind. It’s the perception that
you lack nothing. That you are equipped with everything you need, both now
and for the future. A person confident in their social life will feel as though
they lack nothing in their social life. A person with no confidence in their
social life believes that they lack the prerequisite coolness to be invited to
anyone’s pizza party. It’s this perception of lacking something that
drives their needy, clingy, and/or bitchy behaviour.
The obvious and most common answer to the
confidence conundrum is to simply believe that you lack nothing. That you
already have, or at least deserve, whatever you feel you would need to make you
confident.
Confidence is not just something you have – it’s something you create. It’s a sense
of certainty. It’s the
feeling that you can accomplish anything that comes your way. It’s a state of
mind that you can harness to help you get the results you want. Learning how to
exude confidence – and actually feeling that confidence inside – is crucial to
achieving your goals. Without confidence, you will lose the edge
in negotiations, develop
unproductive habits and struggle with building and maintaining
healthy relationships. If you
are not confident in yourself, you will not be able to create empowering
beliefs about your potential
and your future. Confidence leads to improvements across all areas of life –
better job opportunities and promotions as well as stronger parenting skills
and deeper connections with others.
Learning how to show
confidence while you work on actually becoming
more confident is a
winning strategy that will help you achieve your goals more quickly. Recognise
and stop limiting beliefs about your perceived weaknesses and replace them with
empowering beliefs about your strengths and accomplishments. Allow yourself to
feel anxious, then force yourself to push beyond your comfort zone. See
yourself giving a flawless presentation, asking for a raise or conquering your
fears. The more you visualise, the more real your future accomplishments
become.
Your body language is the very first thing someone
notices about you. Fortunately, you can learn how to exude confidence through body
language. When you’re interacting with someone,
“mirror” them: match their body language with your own, adjust the tone of your voice to be closer to theirs and even choose
words that are similar to their vocabulary. It requires skill and subtlety, but when done
correctly, will help you build rapport and influence others.
Direct eye contact lets people know you’re
focusing your attention on them and is a technique with high returns when
working on how to show confidence. Making eye contact at important moments in
the conversation with your partner’s eyes 80% of the time you’re speaking
and allowing the person you’re speaking to not only makes you exude confidence,
but also shows friendliness and empathy.
A quality handshake can set
the entire tone of your interaction. You want to grasp their hand firmly, but
not too tightly. Some professionals recommend “anchoring” the handshake, or
using your other hand to softly touch the person’s outstretched arm between
their wrist and elbow. This displays authenticity and caring and can be a great
way to form
an instant connection.
The tone
and inflexion of your voice are also important. When you smile, your voice will
naturally sound pleasant and more confident. Make a point not to raise your
pitch at the end of sentences, as this can make it seem like you’re asking a
question or looking for approval for what you’ve just said.
You can exude confidence even if you’re feeling
anything but comfortable in the situation. Watch your body language, speak with conviction and
put a smile on your face, and you’ll show others you’re someone to be reckoned
with.
Begin by
acknowledging every emotion, including
difficult emotions, rather than avoiding them. Speaking up for yourself,
limiting self-criticism, and other strategies can help build emotional strength
and confidence.
Although
parents may understandably be tempted to help children solve every challenge
that comes their way, stepping back and letting kids solve problems on
their own can hone executive function skills,
teach motivation, and help instil a strong sense of self-agency and confidence.
To raise a
confident teenager - To instill
self-confidence, parents can support adolescents’ goals, treat mistakes as
learning experiences and failure as evidence of trying, encourage practice and
persistence, and avoid unloading their worries onto their children. These and other responses can
help teens believe in themselves.
Ways to Build Your
Confidence
1. Notice, observe, and show compassion to your
inner protector. We all
have inner protectors. It’s the part that desperately wants to protect you from
discomfort and perceived “danger.” To avoid conflict, rejection, and negative
emotions (among other things), it can deter you from setting boundaries, asserting
and expressing your needs, and acting in an empowered way because of
perceptions regarding your worthiness.
2. Avoid putting yourself in a position of
victimhood. There are
many ways in which you may do this without ever realising it. Some examples
include falling into the comparison trap and ostensibly evaluating yourself as
less than, surmising that you’re the only one who ever went through what you
did, and generally acting from a passive place (e.g., operating out of
helplessness and dependency, expecting others should read your
mind).
3. Celebrate all moments you lean into your
values. All wins are wins. If you
take the time and put concerted effort into leaning into being your best self,
those are ideal circumstances to be acknowledged, validated, and celebrated.
You’re choosing to enhance yourself; you deserve that recognition. Your
confidence, inspiration, and motivation will
undoubtedly benefit from it.
4. Slow down. Creating space for contemplating, grounding, and
re-regulating your emotions is critical. It leads to less perseverating, spiralling,
and making impulsive, mindless decisions. Take the time to learn and
practice mindfulness. You can
invite mind-body techniques and exercises into your daily practice. Expanding
your mindfulness and present-moment awareness has been proven to increase
personal health, mental health, and general well-being.
5. Look within, rather than outside of yourself. Increasing confidence is an inside job.
Don’t rely on others for confidence-building; take personal strides toward
creating a life you're proud of and satisfied with. In your relationships,
practice being less controlling and heavy-handedly attached to expectations and
outcomes. Also, work on avoiding allowing others’ actions to usurp power over
your mood and actions.
6. Be accepting of all thoughts, feelings, and
body sensations, no matter what. You can’t control thoughts, feelings, and body
sensations—just the actions you choose to take. All are welcome because they
inform and remind you what’s important to you. They’re a direct portal to your
values and highlight how wonderfully multidimensional you are. Your hurt, fear, and anger are
just as humanly poignant and important as your joy and contentment. Take pride
in the many facets of you.
7. Embrace your humanness. You, like me and everyone else, have
imperfections. You are more likely to accept these imperfect parts if you get
familiar with, understand, and appreciate all that makes you imperfect. These
parts also contribute to what makes you incredible. Your perfectionism lends
to your conscientiousness, your
hypervigilance lends to your thoughtfulness, etc. Practising self-compassion
will assist you in recognising when you’re trying your very best despite your
human challenges.
8. Never give up. Mistakes are lessons, not failures. Every
circumstance helps you to learn more about yourself and what you want more or
less of. It gets you closer to living the life you want. If you don’t get it
right the first time with plan A, go to plan B. Go through the whole alphabet
if you need to, until you find what you’re looking for.
9. Make and take the time for you. Accept that all things worthy require your
time, energy, persistence, and continual practice. This includes moments of
self-care, nurturance, and self-compassion. Treat yourself as if you’re the
most important and special person you know.
10.
Trust in
yourself. Trusting yourself includes
making decisions independently and unilaterally without having to check in,
second-guessing yourself, and needing constant reassurance from others. The
more you do, the more you prove to yourself that you’re capable and can do what you set your mind to.
11.
Build
strength in your inner and outer worlds. Your inner and outer worlds make up the whole of
you. Being focused, organised, and thoughtful impacts the way you approach the
setting in which you live, how you treat your body, and how you
connect in your relationships. Having balance and peace in you and surrounding
you will make you feel better about walking into your life each day.
12.
Be willing. Willingness is pivotal. In a state of
willingness, you’ll be more flexible and expansive and will avoid the pitfalls
of denial,
avoidance, protectiveness, and disconnection that can often lead to stagnation.
Rather than excuses, rationalisations, and illusions of work, you’ll approach
your life more fully and openly.
13.
Continually
challenge yourself and take risks. Growth is developed through challenging yourself
to do hard things. It helps to grow your resilience, coping
skills, and self-efficacy. The more you put yourself out there, the more you’ll
prove that your preconceived notions, narratives, and false beliefs aren’t
absolutes and can ultimately change with new corrective experiences.
14.
Don’t take
things personally. I remind
my patients that hurt people hurt others and that people don’t trigger you, you
get triggered. It reminds you that you need to give up your insistence to
control and understand that people's behaviour is typically a reflection of
where they're at, rather than based on something you said or did.
15.
Cultivate a
healthy inner circle. Being
surrounded by healthy people and relationships directly reflects how you think,
feel, and act toward yourself. The way you’re treated and treat others is an
indication of where you’re at in your personal development and self-growth.
Proactively take the steps to increase your
confidence so that life is more meaningful and fulfilling. The choice is up to
you—stay where you’re at or thrust forward with greater personal power.
Self-Confidence Is More
Important
Self-confidence is linked to almost every
element involved in a happy life. The more confident you become, the more
you’ll be able to calm the voice inside you that says, “I can’t do it.” You’ll
be able to unhook from your thoughts and take action in line with your values.
If you’ve suffered from low
self-confidence, you’re probably familiar with rumination, or the tendency to
mull over worries and perceived mistakes, replaying them ad nauseam. Excessive
rumination is linked to both anxiety and depression, and it can make us withdraw
from the world. But by filling up your tank with confidence, you’ll be able to
break the cycle of overthinking and quiet your inner
critic.
Greater Motivation
Building confidence means taking
small steps that leave a lasting sense of accomplishment. If you’ve ever
learned a language, mastered a skill, reached a fitness goal, or otherwise
overcome setbacks to get to where you wanted to be, you’re well on your way.
As your confidence grows, you’ll
find yourself more driven to stretch your abilities. “What-if” thoughts will
still arise: “What if I fail?” “What if I embarrass myself?” But with
self-assurance, those thoughts will no longer be paralysing. Instead, you’ll be
able to grin and act anyway, feeling energised by your progress in pursuing
goals that mean something to you.
Confidence gives you the skills
and coping methods to handle setbacks and failure. Self-confidence doesn’t mean
you won’t sometimes fail. But you’ll know you can handle challenges and not be
crippled by them. Even when things don’t turn out anywhere close to what you
planned, you’ll be able to avoid beating yourself up.
As you keep pushing yourself to
try new things, you’ll start to truly understand how failure and mistakes lead
to growth. An acceptance that failure is part of life will start to take root.
Paradoxically, by being more willing to fail, you'll succeed more, because
you're not waiting for everything to be 100 per cent perfect before you act.
Taking more shots will mean making more of them.
Improved Relationships
It might seem counterintuitive,
but when you have more self-confidence, you’re less focused on yourself. We’ve
all been guilty of walking into a room and thinking, “They’re all looking at
me. They all think I look dumpy and that every word I say is stupid.” The truth
is, people are wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries. When you get out
of your own head, you’ll be able to genuinely engage with others.
You'll enjoy your interactions
more because you won't be so worried about the kind of impression you're
making, and you won’t be comparing yourself to others. Your relaxed state will
put others at ease as well, helping you forge deeper connections.
Self-confidence can also breed deeper empathy. When you’re fully present,
you’re more likely to notice that your date seems to be a little down, or that
a friend in the corner looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. When you’re
not preoccupied with your own self-doubt, you can be the person who reaches out
to help others.
Stronger Sense of Your Authentic
Self
A Few Action Steps
1. Write down a favorite confidence
quote and put it somewhere you'll see it often. My colleague Meg Selig has
compiled a great list.
2. Do you have a photograph of a time you felt
confident and successful? It could be a graduation photo, a picture of you as a
kid after you learned to ride a bike, or anything else that resonates with you.
Hang it on your fridge or bathroom mirror, and reflect on all the steps it took
to get to that point.
3.
Try one of
these self-confidence tricks from my colleague Alice Boyes.
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