Change Your Story & Free Your Mind

 Change Your Story & Free Your Mind

Many personal development experts state that the reality we’re living in today is largely a result of our past thoughts and behaviours.

Does your general attitude and situations in life correlate with past thoughts and behaviour? Do you become what you think?

The jury is out on just how much of our thoughts and actions correlate with our current reality. After all, even the happiest, most peaceful people in life experience challenging circumstances, loss, and genuine struggle.

However, exploring the correlation of our thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and actions against our current life situation may not be a bad idea.

If you find yourself happy and peaceful most of the time, why is this?

If you’re not thrilled with your life in various areas, why do you think that is?

Perhaps it’s time to do a little digging into your thought life to see if the types of thoughts you’re thinking are influencing your current reality.

If you lean toward the negative side, perhaps it’s time to free yourself from negativity little by little. Maybe today you can boldly declare it as the first day of the rest of your awesome life.

Do you know what you want in your life? What Do You Want Out of Life? 

Today, we're looking at 5 ways you can begin to free your mind from negative thoughts, beliefs, or patterns. 

• Commit to a newer, more positive mindset and do a little experimenting.
• See if a higher mindset changes your outer world.
• Take the next weeks or months to make a solid commitment to changing your inner landscape and see if it impacts your outer landscape.
• You may even want to journal daily to track your journey. 

1. Un-Clutter Your Mind

Your thoughts have a great deal to do with your attitude and behaviour, as your thoughts affect beliefs and beliefs influence behaviour. 

To create a better life, it’s important to gauge your thought life and see how your thoughts have been.

Do a bit of meditation to declutter your mind. Take time to sit in silence and observe the kinds of thoughts running through your mind.

• Are you more of a positive or negative person?
• Do you tend to think fearful, doubtful, and negative thoughts or happy, confident, and positive thoughts?

If you’re not sure, ask those closest to you if they consider you more of a positive or negative person. Sometimes our loved ones can see more about us than we can.

Do your best to eliminate negative influences in your life, like thoughts, stories, and maybe even some people. If you’re a pessimist, it’s time to declare that you will be a happy-go-lucky optimist and do the necessary inner healing work to make the change. 

2. Change Your Story

If you’re not happy with the story you’re telling people, then it’s time to tell a new story.

The biggest influence on human behaviour is the story we tell ourselves in our heads. If you change your story, you change our world.

If you’re not happy in your job, relationship, financial state, etc., then it’s time to admit it and then take the necessary steps to change what needs changing. Contrary to what you may believe, you’re not stuck where you are. 

If you feel stuck, it’s only because you’re telling the same old story over and over, but at any time, you can create a new story. You can take full responsibility for your life from this day forward and change the script.

Even if it feels hard to start thinking and speaking more positively, do it anyway. Do whatever it takes to just start thinking and speaking positivity, rather than dwelling on the negative.

3. Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway

Sure, it can be fearful to think about change.  It’s scary to think about changing jobs, lovers, location, etc. 

Sometimes people get comfortable with their fears and shy away from creativity, risk, adventure, and change. The problem with this is that it leads to apathy, boredom, and frustration and stifles the spirit.

You’re not bound by your past. You don’t have to continue on the same mediocre path. You don’t have to beat yourself up about past decisions or setbacks. Dare to embrace fear and dream a new dream. That’s called courage. Allow courage to rise within you and declare that you’re going to make some changes for the better in your life. You won't settle for the status quo any longer!

You’re going to draw a line in the sand and not allow negative thoughts or negative people to cross it. You’re going to get serious about change!

4. Challenge Your Beliefs

Have you been prone to believe that this is as good as life gets?

That your current job or financial status the best you’re going to experience? Is mediocrity fine? Perhaps you can challenge such beliefs.

Successful, peaceful, and happy people don’t settle for what is easy or what is comfortable. They also don’t let the past keep them from changing things up in the future. 

Challenge your beliefs. Get honest with yourself.

• Are you settling?
• Are you afraid?
• Do you allow self-defeating beliefs to prevail?

If so, today is your day to break free from all negativity and doubt and declare a new life! Declare that you’re going to begin telling a new story.

5. Create A Plan

You’re first step is to take some time to think about where you are and where you want to go. 

Get motivated. Write down a list of your goals.

• What do you want?
• More money?
• A career you like?
• More freedom?
• A new partner?
• Friends?
• Start your own business? 

Write it all down. Then make a plan as to how you will work your way toward the manifestation of your goals. 

Create an action plan. Want a new career? Begin researching careers. If you want more money, create a budget, follow it, get a new or second job, etc.

Are you looking for a new relationship? Begin dating again. Goals are great, but without action, you won’t get very far. 

Life Can Change

Wherever you are right now and no matter what your past has been like, things can change.

Life can change.

You can change.

Your attitude and environment can change.

Don’t allow self-defeating beliefs to hold you back any longer. Create a new story and begin taking steps toward your new goals. You can experience more peace and joy along your journey.

And, it’s what you deserve.

Conflict & How to Keep Out of It

Many people fear conflict. Others thrive on it.

But chances are, conflict has caused a lot of anxiety and strife in our lives and the lives of those around us. Because conflict can often lead to such negative and destructive outcomes, we can often blame conflict itself for ruining our relationships, stability, or lives.

But it's not the conflict's fault. It's us. 

The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them. - Thomas Crum

We are all so different. And those inherent differences will always lead to conflict. Compassion, empathy and understanding can help keep those conflicts from escalating to prejudice or violence.

We all want the same things in life: to feel safe, stable, connected, and cared for. But what that looks like and how we get there is where our paths diverge. And since we can't read each other's minds, we must communicate our needs and expectations without judging or criticising someone who might be on the other side.

And here is where things can get tricky and go very, very wrong.

Most of us have responded poorly to conflict at some point in our lives, and we don't know why things blew up or broke down so quickly.

But how you respond to conflict is only half the story.

You can't control how others respond; you can only try your best to steer the conversation back into constructive territory. So here are 4 less-than-stellar responses to conflict, and how to make sure yours is healthy. 

4 Responses to Conflict & How You Can Keep Yourself Out of It

 

#1 - Offence

Some people thrive on conflict and use it to fuel their aggression and air their grievances. They will take any opportunity to get involved in conflict and may create conflict where there is none.

Conflict is a way to break up the monotony of life and get their blood pumping and that dopamine and adrenaline flowing. These people thrive on drama, but things can quickly escalate into harassment, threats or violence.

Healthier Response: While conflict is a necessary part of life, it is not a way of life and cannot be used to dominate, intimidate, or manipulate others. Remain calm, listen and respond with care and compassion. Stay out of conflict whenever possible and resolve it wherever necessary.

#2 - Defence

Conflict very often evokes a defensive response in people. In this case, conflict feels like an attack, and a natural reaction to attack is defence.

But defensiveness can easily slip into dismissiveness, justification, and counterattacks. Even if the basis of the conflict is inaccurate and the issues brought forth are not your burden, you still bear the responsibility to respond constructively and healthily. 

Healthier Response: Don't dismiss the other's concerns without addressing their merit or your role in the matter, or lack thereof.

Try not to justify your actions or words, inappropriate or not. Instead, acknowledge them and the way they could have been interpreted and negatively impacted the other person. Do not attack the other person, even if they are attacking you. It is hard to resist, but fire needs water, not fuel.

#3 - Submit

Some people are naturally submissive and assume any conflict brought to them is somehow their fault.

These people often make themselves responsible for others' attitudes, misunderstandings, and emotions. Even if they know they're not actually at fault, they will apologise anyway just to appease the other person and smooth things over.

This doesn't resolve anything and teaches the other person that they can dominate others to get what they want and don't have to take responsibility for their role in anything. 

Healthier Response: It is important to figure out what the actual conflict is about and delegate who is responsible for what.

You can acknowledge your role while also holding others accountable for theirs. Make sure to note that everyone's feelings belong to them, and just because someone feels offended or put upon doesn't mean an offence has occurred. Sometimes, nothing was done wrong, and people still get hurt.

#4 - Avoid

Many people try to avoid conflict altogether.

They ignore the other side's gripes, bow out of conversations, or end relationships just to avoid confrontation. This doesn't help either. Ignoring someone can add just as much fuel as firing back at them. And the person who has a problem with you will always be the one controlling the narrative.

Healthier Response: Conflict cannot be avoided, and doesn't automatically mean fighting or confrontation.

There will be people and situations in life that you can't walk away from, so it's best to learn how to handle conflict now so you don't create more problems by letting them escalate.

Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. - Ronald Reagan 

You Don't Need to Be Afraid of Conflict

Conflict is a part of life.

It forces us to communicate openly. It exposes our deepest desires, fears, and biases. Conflict is not a negative we need to stamp out, it is a natural part of life that needs to be recognised for the good it can do.

There's no getting away from it, so it's best to learn to live in harmony with it.

You can choose to use conflict as a tool of growth instead of shunning it like a dirty secret.

Keep your responses to conflict healthy and constructive, and try to recognise when you are straying. It can feel like a struggle, and the stakes can be very high, but in the end, you'll know where you stand and have a better idea of how to navigate your world.