KNOWING PEOPLE

 KNOWING PEOPLE 

Why People Put You Down & Ways to Cope with Them

The world is full of nice, pleasant, and interesting people, but once in a while, you might run into some who seem to constantly try to put you down.

We know life is not always rainbows and butterflies. We will encounter people who try to put us down with derogatory gestures, ironic comments, constant criticism, name-calling, disapproval, and several other macroaggressions aimed at belittling, discouraging, and disempowering us.

But, as you can guess, getting frustrated and agitated is not the way to deal with these sorts of people. Since these people are derisive or scornful, any unpolished response or reaction would only serve to fuel (or maybe even prove) their mockery and disrespect...

To deal with this type of person, you first need to understand what motivates them.

8 Reasons People Put Others Down

The truth is that the act of putting people down may range from conscious attempts to unconscious mistakes...

1. They Are Jealous

“A flower never thinks of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.

Jealous people do petty things. They make sly statements to make your achievements seem less grand or your happiness less delightful. You can tell they are jealous by the position they take.

2. They Are Narcissistic

Some folks just want all the attention in the room and in the world at large. They don’t like feeling insignificant or small. If they can’t succeed in drawing attention to themselves by their actions, they start trying to diminish the attention others get. You can tell they are obsessed with being noticed.

3. Egocentric

These sorts of people can’t stand being under anyone. They may not be able to always be at the top and keep trying to make it seem as though they are. They talk down on you to have a sense of power or control, even if they truly don’t and may never.

4. They Are Bitter

Some people have a tough life and have grown resentful over the years, just lashing out at whoever is unlucky enough to be around them during their periodic bouts of unwanted behaviour. They may later apologise, but you don’t have to take their negativity. You are not a punching bag.

5. They Are Toxic

After years of practice, it has become second nature to this type. Putting people down is their way of life. These people are past redemption.

6. They Are Narrow Minded

When an idea, notion, or perception—no matter how wrong or ill-informed—gets into their brains, it gets stuck. They may even conclude based on gossip and judge you wrongly, and without remorse or willingness to hear your part of the story. This set of individuals doesn’t like changing their minds.

7. They Lack Communication Skills:

These people simply don't know how to connect with others. Their words come out wrong too often. They may not really mean any harm at all, but they can hurt you nonetheless.

8. They Were Upset

This can be anyone—it’s just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Now that you know better, below are some of the ways you can employ to deal with those who would put you down. 

7 Ways of Dealing with People Who Try to Put You Down

1. Don’t Get Mad

This is probably the worst response. Not just because it can cause the truly unpleasant people to retaliate with more unpleasantness, but it can actually hurt those who didn’t intend it that way. Then you unwittingly become the one who puts people down.

2. Empathise With Them

Really, if you can properly understand what motivates them. You can even flip the switch by saying kind words to them and making a friend.

3. Breathe In

If you feel infuriated by the manner and timing of the whole thing, then allow for some more time to pass. Let it all wash away. Take a deep breath and see that their words have little to do with you. 

4. Acknowledge Their Opinion

If they criticise you or your work harshly, be the bigger person by acknowledging their views. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and discard the rudeness. If they were wrong, ignore their attempts to put you down.

5. Laugh At Their Attempt

If you have an expert sense of humour, you can turn the tables by laughing at their attempt to put you down. You just have to be careful not to cross the line and poke the bear, causing more issues.

6. Ignore Them

It is not your responsibility to teach grown-ups manners. Make peace with that and move on.

7. Politely Disagree

You don't have to get into a big thing about it. If someone says something insulting, you can simply say, "No, I disagree," and change the subject.

You can keep the conversation going if you want, or walk away after. You don't have to be rude about it, but you also don't have to accept or agree with them.

Way! 

Just be direct and honest.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with simply saying, "I don't think that's fair, and it feels like an insult." A lot of people who put others down don't expect to be called out on it. You don't have to be rude. But you are 100% allowed to draw your boundaries and call it as you see it. 

Best case, it could start an open dialogue about why they said what they said, and you can find common ground going forward. Worst case, they react poorly and tell you exactly who they are. Either way, you don't have to feel like you should be silent.

 What Other People Say About You is None of Your Business.

Next time someone tries to put you down, remember that confidence is quiet, but insecurity is loud. You should always have it at the back of your mind that what people say and how they behave is only a reflection of who they are and not who you are.